Crystal Palace and Aston Villa must meet again after the Premier League side twice came from behind at Selhurst Park Preamble: So far this season’s FA Cup has been just about as magical as David Blaine standing in that box above the Thames so, given that it is Valentine’s Day, it’s about time we focused on the romance of the cup instead. I realise I may have lost some of you with that last sentence as you now dash to your local newsagent to return with a Crunchie and a can of Cherry Coke saying to your loved one, ‘I know we don’t usually do Valentine’s Day but I thought I’d just get you something anyway’. But in reality, what could be more romantic than Crystal Palace v Aston Villa at Selhurst Park? Not much. And anyway, why must we be force-fed this annual bout of sentimentality which we all know is merely corporate posturing as they desperately try and keep a once-great institution alive. And that’s just the FA Cup. Martin O’Neill, for one, doesn’t think it’s going to be much of a love-in at the Palace. He’s predicting a gruelling affair as the Championship side attempt to put their off-field difficulties to one side and earn another big-payday in the sixth round. Kick off at Selhurst Park is 3.45pm The teams are finally in: Crystal Palace: Speroni; Clyne, Davis, Ertl, Hill; Butterfield, Derry, Ambrose, Danns, Carle; Lee. Subs: Manns, Scannell, Lawrence, Andrew, Djilali, N’Diaye, Wynter. Aston Villa: Friedel; Luke Young, Dunne, Collins, Warnock; Delph, Petrov, Downing; Ashley Young, Heskey, Milner. Subs: Guzan, Sidwell, Carew, Delfouneso, Davies, Beye, Cuellar. Referee: Kevin Friend (Leicestershire) A bizarre pre-match profile of Neil Warnock saw him, amongst other things, say that he doesn’t mind being compared to Marmite “because it got us through the war”, we witnessed him getting his hair done, and he said “the greatest feeling in the world is sitting in a bath with a cup of tea knowing you’ve sent thousands of people home happy.” I assume he’s talking about after a match. “Well seeing as this is a live game Ashley Young will try and deter any calls for him to be an English regular by having an awful game,” says Ben Bennett. “Delph will get sent off because, as how O’Neil puts it, he’s a little bit ‘nasty’. I think he’s going to Cherub Crystal Palace up the wrong way.” That’s quite a prection. I’m going for Crystal Palace 1-3 Aston Villa. “As a Villa fan nervous about this afternoon. Palace got nothing to lose and we’re not exactly free scoring at the moment. Could be a difficult game,” says Silver Fox. “Sent the Mrs out with the little one today (not too happy about that let me assure you) so just hope its a decent game……” That’s the spirit. 1 min: We’re underway at Selhurst Park 2 min: Palace are in their familiar red and blue stripes, which is nowehere near as good as the kit they wore in 1990 final (see the picture above). Villa are all in white and have Emile Heskey limping at the moment. I think he’ll be ok. 3 min: Villa have won a corner from a long clearance from Friedel which Palace didn’t deal with properly. From Downing’s corner Petrov got a strike at goal but it was blocked. It’s now Fulham 2-0 Notts County 5 min: Palace seem as if they are going to man-mark Emile Heskey, who is back on the pitch after that early knock. That seems like an odd-decision. Heskey usually man-marks himself out of the game 6 min: Stephen Warnock makes a powerful run forward to get on the end of Petrov’s nicely wighted pass but Davis makes a good block and Palace clear 8 min: Nathan Clyne makes a really good run up the right flank and Warnock does well to challenge. Clyne showed good pace there 10 min: A big scramble in the Palace penalty area. Collins won the first header from Downing’s cross. Alan Lee failed to clear but Davis got out and made a great block on Richard Dunne’s shot. 12 min: I observed the picture above and I couldn’t remember if Crystal Palace was captained by Dolph Lundgren,” says Pangeran Immanuel. Of course they were, Pangeran. Where is Dolph now? Maybe he could come back and buy the club. 15 min: Ther rumour is Selhurst Park today is that this could be Neil Warnock’s last game in charge of Crystal Palace. QPR are said to have come in with a bid. Warnock and Briatore – now that’s a good match. I hope he keeps his phone charged. 17 min: The first bit of football from palce sees Lee and Danns link-up before Jonny Ertl tried his luck from distance but it goes high, wide and handsome. 19 min: A penalty appeal for a foul by Clyne on Ashley Young. Villa claim there was a push on the back as Young collected Petrov’s ball but there was barely any contact. The ref has made the right decision. No penalty “Is Neil Warnock like Marmite? ponders Gary Naylor, one of the game’s great thinkers. “I’d say possibly – not because people divide into love it or hate it camps (surely only Neil Warnock loves Neil Warnock) – but because Marmite applied to anything makes it look a bit s!*&@y.” I can’t comment I’m afraid. I’ve never had Marmite 22 min: Heskey does well to turn and shoot left-footed at the edge of the box but it’s straight at Speroni who saves easily 23 min: Goal! Crystal Palace 1-0 Aston Villa Scott Danns swung in a corner from the right. Brad Friedel came to claim but Alan Lee and Stephen Warnock got in his way and Ertl had the easy task of heading into the empty net 26 min: Villa seem to think that Alan Lee may have fouled Friedel as he came for that corner butI don’t think so. Warnock was in the way too. Danns does well to turn and shoot at the edge of the area but it’s straight at Friedel. It’s all Palace now 28 min: “Dolph Lungren will be seen this Summer in Stallone’s back to basics action romp, The Expendables,” says Ben Bennett. “When I say back to basics, I don’t mean Stallone as John Major crusading against Britain’s moral turpitude but the killing of foreigners with big guns….Even Arnie has a cameo.” I thought he might pop up in that alright. The Expendables is already the highlight of my summer. Forget the World Cup 35 min: Goal! Crystal Palace 1-1 Aston Villa Villa have been coming back into it and James Collins has got the equaliser. Downing swung in a great ball from the right and the defender just redirected the ball past Speroni from six yards 36 min: Very near 2-1 to Villa and again it’s a set piece., Milner’s corner is met by Petrov but his header goes about a foot wide of the back post 39 min: Palace go straight up the other end and nearly score themselves. Lee won a header and knocked it to Ambrose who saw his shot charged down. It came back to Lee but he skewed his volley and went towards the corner flag rather than the goal. Dare I say it, but this his turned into a proper old-school cup tie 40 min: “I am glad that you specified it was Stephen Warnock who got in Friedel’s way (for the Palace goal),” says Tim Howard who is definitely, most definitely, not the Everton goalkeeper. “I wouldn’t put it past Neil Warnock to run on the pitch and cause havoc at corners. Although thinking about it, allowing managers to do that would add a whole new dimension to the game.” 41 min: Another chance for Villa and again it’s from a set piece. Young’s corner was met by Heskey who headed over. I think he should have scored 43 min: Silver Fox doesn’t like my comment that this is an old-school cup game. “You’ve either A) Gone all ITV on us there or B) Put the kiss of death on the game. It would be fair to say its been the best game I’ve seen today.” Please let that be B. I would take that over A any day. Although I do very much enjoy Take Me Out on a Saturday evening. Maybe I’m confused 45 min: A free kick to Crystal Palace for a foul on Alan Lee, who has been excellent so far. This will be the last action of the half … and Friedel makes a really good reflex save from Ambrose’s rocket of a free kick. It took a little deflection too. Half time: This whistle goes at the end of a really entertaining first half. I’m off to stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if I am going all ITV. I always pictured myself as more of a Sky1 man More Dolph Lundgren news, this time from Larsson Christian. ” Something to keep you all entertained with in the halftime . He actually hurt his hand when he did the ice break part.” Phil Sawyer has the question on everyone’s lip’s … “Shouldn’t Silver Fox be exiting through a window twirling his moustache enigmatically having stolen a large expensive diamond and leaving a calling card with his name on it rather than reading an MBM? I would have thought Valentine’s Day would be a busy one for cat burglars, what with all that hastily purchased jewellery knocking around.” Over to you, Silver … Ben Bennett is also continuing the Dolph and burglary themes, which seem to have taken over, even though the game is good. ‘One more bit of Dolph trivia. “Lundgren’s home was reportedly broken into by three masked burglars who tied up and threatened Qviberg, but fled when they spotted a family photo and realized that the house was owned by Lundgren.’ You watch a new demand for Lundgren photos emerge around Anfield.” 46 min: We’re underway in the second half and there is one change in the Villa side. John Carew is on for Emile Heskey 47 min: “Your Dolph clip must be the most interesting thing ever shown on SVT1,” says Gary Naylor. “The competition isn’t fierce, believe me.” I’ve just put this to my Swedish colleague who mumbled something that I can only assume was an agreement. 48 min: Adam, from New York, seems to have this minute-by-minute confused with a self-help column. “Spent the last week or so agreeing with the missus not to do anything for Valentine’s Day this year. Now the day has arrived, I feel guilty that I’ve not done anything, knowing too well that the missus was still expecting something. I also know that all her family and friends are going to ask her what we did for Valentine’s. She will say nothing, and I will look like the schmuck even though it was a joint decision from the start! Anyone else in the same situation as me? Have I made a schoolboy error here?” I would say the answers to your two questions are Yes and Yes 49 min: Carew is almost straight into the action getting onto Downing’s through ball and hitting a near post shot which Speroni deflects away. God save 52 min: James Milner goes down in the area under a challenge from Danny Butterfield but he just lost his footing, and doesn’t even appeal for a penalty. That’s because English players don’t dive (© John Terry) 54 min: Lou Roper has a suggestion for Adam from New York. “As a last-ditch effort to salvage the day, couldn’t ‘Adam from New York’ invite his missus to join him in following the MBM? Surely that’s a better approach than the one taken by ‘Silver Fox’ (is this John Gregory in disguise?) as set out at kick-off?” Take that Dear Deirdre 56 min: Palace are doing quite well here. Ertl goes on a marauding run down the left – a run he looks pretty uncomfortable doing – but there’s is no one up with him and Villa clear his cross 57 min: Phil Sawyer has some more relationship advice for Adam. “Adam from New York has indeed made a schoolboy error. Namely, thinking that anyone sat reading internet coverage of Crystal Palace v Aston Villa on Valentine’s Day are the best people to ask for romantic advice. Or that any MBMers have actually been in the position of ever going out with a real live woman.” 58 min: Alan Lee is left shaking his head after a tussle with James Collins. Lee has really given them a hard time today. I was in school with Alan Lee. He was never like that in maths class. 60 min: A nice bit of cursing from Neil Warnock is picked up by the camera. I’m waiting for the grovelling ITV apology 62 min: The first yellow card of the game and it goes to Claude Davis for a challenge on James Milner. He complains, but he went right through him 63 min: Poor defending from Shaun Derry from the resulting free kick and Carew nearly pounces, but Palace scramble it clear. 66 min: The Crystal Palace goalkeeper kicks the ball out of play so that he can tie his laces. Villa give the ball back to them. That’s nonsense in my opinion. There’s far too much giving the ball back to the other team these days 67 min: A terrible backpass from Clyne lets in Ashley Young who squares across goal but no one is there and it goes harmlessly out for a throw 69 min: Goal! Crystal Palace 2-1 Aston Villa Out of nothing, and just when Villa were getting on top, and Palace have the lead through a brilliant Darren Ambrose free kick. It was 35-yards out and swerved past the wall. Friedel got a hand to it – he probably should have done better – but he couldn’t keep it out. That’s Ambrose’s 16th goal of the season 71 min: Ambrose has now hit the bar with a flicked header that looped over Friedel. Villa are in trouble here 72 min: Anthony O’Connell is in the mood. “I booked a table for the missus for valentine’s. I’d say it’ll end in tears. She hates snooker!” 74 min: Change for Villa – Delph is replaced by Nathan Delfouneso. We have an update on Adam’s domestic situation. “Some good points by Phil Sawyer. But I think I will soon be joining my fellow MBMers and not have a real live girlfriend. She’s currently pottering in the kitchen. I’m sat at my laptop desperately taking advice from MBMers and thinking of a way to get out of this mess. The “Maybe we can go out tomorrow night when it’s less crowded” line has already failed miserably…” 75 min: Another yellow card this time for Danny Butterfield who couldn’t keep up with Delfouneso and so hauled him down. From the free kick, Dunne flicked it on to Carew whose header was goalbound until Speroni got a hand to it 76 min: From that corner the ball fell to Collins whose shot was cleared off the line by Clyne. This is a great game. We may have to put the relationship advice and burglary speculation on hold 77 min: No we won’t. Jim French is further adding to the speculation. “Silver Fox is using this MBM as an alibi while he burgles a Monte Carlo residence of some euro aristocrat. He pops into the MBM with some comments at the start and now is silent …. just see, he’ll pop with a bon mot towards the end to prove he was not at the scene of the jewel heist dodging laser beams and scaling high walls.” 79 min: We have word from the Silver Fox. “I leave the jewel stealing for after Christmas. Just as the Mrs and little one come home Palace score. Tempted to send them out again.” I think that puts him in the clear. 80 min: “My lady is working tonight… result!” says Michael Ollier. “And it’s just cost me a card and a bunch of carnations from Asda.” And they say that romance is dead. 83 min: Alan Lee has got a yellow card for a swinging arm on Stephen Warnock. Eric Laffly claims to have the inside track on Adam. “Knowing Adam from New York personally, I can indeed claim he’s made a grave error by ignoring Valentine’s day. His missus was angling for a holiday with him somewhere warm, but instead, he opted to join a bunch of lads on a stag-do to Vegas. Valentine’s Day would have been the perfect opportunity for him to make it up to her.” 84 min: Speroni claws at a Downing corner and it goes behind. This time he comes and punches brilliantly from Young’s inswinger 86 min: Goal! Crystal Palace 2-2 Aston Villa It’s been coming and again it’s from a set-piece. Downing swung in a beautiful corner and Stilyan Petrov met it with a flying header to send it past Speroni, who moments earlier had made a brilliant save with his head from Carew at point-blank range 89 min: Ashley Young takes a corner and this time Speroni catches cleanly. Milner and Danns then go into a tackle and both are down injured 90 min: “Why do ITV protest too much? asks David Wall. “I’d be more inclined to believe that the FA Cup still meant something if we weren’t constantly being told how much it means to the players, managers, and fans, etc. Do they expect someone not to celebrate an equaliser if it comes in a second-rate competition?” 90 min +1: Change for Palace. Alan Lee is replaced by Calvin Andrew 90 min +3: Great cross from Downing on the right and Clyne does just enought to unsettle Young who can’t get his head to it and it goes behind Full time: The whistle goes and the happiest people in the ground will be Crystal Palace’s administrators. Neil Warnock saw his side lead twice but were pegged back each time. The last thing Villa really needed was a replay but that’s what they’ve got, so there’s nothing they can do really. Just accept it. “An enjoyable game and now we’ve equalised I’ve let the Mrs out of the cupboard,” says Silver Fox further keeping in the spirit of the universally recognised Day of Love. “Cracking MBM as well, quite enjoyed being an international man of mystery and intrigue. Make a change from the day job.” That’s about all, folks. It turned out that Crystal Palace v Aston Villa was by far the most romantic thing here. Sad really. Thanks for all your emails. Sorry I couldn’t publish them all. We will leave the final word to Adam in New York. “Thanks to my good friend Eric. It is true. What he forgot to mention is that the Vegas stag weekend is also our anniversary weekend. That’s why she wanted to go on a romantic trip away. Don’t think I’m going to win any boyfriend of the year awards this year…” There’s still time to salvage it Adam, It’s only lunchtime in New York. Get her a bottle of wine and a DVD. Maybe a Dolph Lundgren classic? FA Cup Crystal Palace Aston Villa Evan Fanning guardian.co.uk